But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
