hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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