What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
