awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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