Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
