very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just threw up on my dentist
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
where are my eyebrows?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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