Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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