Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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