At least make sure they are 18
Why
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
