need another drink. this is the easiest way
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
