there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
