He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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