$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
