weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
