wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he shaved USA in his pubs
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
