Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
