I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
