North Korea, Best Korea!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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