my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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