ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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