you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
