is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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