I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
