people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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