idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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