And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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