just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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