He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
