True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
