You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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