If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
bring money and cleavage
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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