Apparently you make a good broom.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
