i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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