Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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