yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
