I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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