I accidentally had phone sex last night
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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