I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
