the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
