My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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