there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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