awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
