Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
