every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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