Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
