i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
soo... how was my night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
