He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I checked into jail on foursquare
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
