Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
barbara walters just said penis...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize