careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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