i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
